I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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