In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
