I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
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He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
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I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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