____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize