Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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