Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We named our party play list daddy issues
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
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Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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