oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does