Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.