I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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