You're my little dorito
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
