Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize