I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
