so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize