I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
