I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize