Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
