IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
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If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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