My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
