Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize