Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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