no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Send help, water and tortillas.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
And then my night got REAL pukey
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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