Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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