look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
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so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
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You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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