he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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