are you still at the devil's house?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
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I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
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I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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