After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize