Where did you get a picture of my penis
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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