i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
