i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form