chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize