Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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