man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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