"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
as a side note pls kill me
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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