god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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