i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
