My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize