Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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