But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize