She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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