I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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