her vagine was all disorganized.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
