Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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