Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize