I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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