Quick, to the slutcave!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
