My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
