He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
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No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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