no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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