It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
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why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
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I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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