I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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