It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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